Goodbye
by Miharu Endou
Summary: I loved her. So much. But, he loved her, too. And, he needed her more than I do. RxMxN


Goodbye

A Gakuen Alice Fan Fiction

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**Disclaimer: **I do not own Gakuen Alice. Sadly.. :(

**WARNING: **This story contains a lot of spoilers for the 121st chapter of Gakuen Alice.

**Pairing: **RukaXMikanXNatsume

**AGE of group in the story: **15

**Genre: **Hurt/Comfort/Romance

**Summary: **I loved her. So much. But, he loved her, too. And, he needed her more than I do.

**A/N: **I just read the latest chapter of the manga. It was so sad. This is for Ruka. :( I just felt his pain.

It's soo hard to let go of something that's dear to you. I praise you, Ruka Nogi. After 120 chapters, Ruka decided to gave up on Mikan. He's always cared for Natsume and Mikan, and I'm proud of him. It was a brave thing to do, Ruka. Now that I see it, he was the one who sacrificed a lot for Natsume. He was just unappreciated.

First, he left his family to support Natsume, and then he gave up his LOVE (he did say that he loved Mikan) for Mikan to make Natsume happy. He's such a great friend.

This story's being narrated by Ruka.

Hope you enjoy it even if it's sad.

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Ever since I met Sakura, things have changed. My perspective in life and in the academy weren't as vile as before. She always stayed optimistic though she suffered a lot of pain and suffering in the academy. That was the reason I fell in love with her. She was just like the lotus, a flower that can still live and stay pure even in the murkiest swamps.

I love her. I really do. I love her so much it hurts. But, he loves her, too. And he needs her. Natsume really does need Sakura. She is like the sun within his darkness. More than I do, Natsume got strongly attracted to Sakura. No matter how much he hides it, his body and soul is screaming. He doesn't notice it, but deep within him, he's truly yearning for her and her alone.

"Ruka-pyooon~"

There she was, calling my name freely. She looked so beautiful like she always did; so simple yet so breath-taking. When I looked up to greet her, she was right in front of me, grinning widely.

I smiled at her and said; "Good morning to you, too, Sakura."

She just grinned, and then looked at the person beside me, Natsume. She smiled at him affectionately like she always did when she looked at him, and said; "Good morning, Natsume-kun~!"

I saw Natsume stare at me through the side of his eyes and frowned. He was thinking about me and my feelings again. Don't make such a face, Natsume. He smirked at Sakura and said; "Hn."

I knew he wanted to greet her back, but he couldn't. It was because I was with him. I have always been a hindrance to his happiness. I was a burden. Yet, he still cared for me and my feelings. Stop it, buddy. Think about yourself now. You need her more than I do.

Sakura smiled at him and sat in between of us. Words couldn't explain how much I wanted to hold Sakura's hand. I tried to control it, because I know that Natsume would want to hold her hand as well.

Only one man could have her heart. And I'm sure it would be Natsume. Natsume is the only man chosen for Sakura. I knew that.

I unconsciously winced, making Sakura look at me. Those big, brown orbs full of innocence and purity, and those lips that can never utter anything ill were tempting me. It wasn't helping me at all. She was just too damn beautiful.

"What's the matter, Ruka-pyon?" She said, her angelic voice ringing in my ear.

Natsume then stared at me with concern etched in his face. I tried to smile and said; "It's nothing."

"Oh. But, if ever you have a problem, don't hesitate to tell me, okay? I will surely listen to you." Sakura said, smiling like she usually did. She then looked away and doodled on her note pad. Natsume was still staring at me. He knew something was wrong.

He was always the type to read people easily. It was if he had the mind-reading alice like Kokoro Yome. But, even though he's that type, he was the one who couldn't see or realize what he was feeling, what he was longing for. It was ironic.

My eyes turned hot and watery, and the next thing I knew, I was silently sobbing beside the girl of my dreams. It was so hard to let go of one of the people whom you cherish the most. I'm doing this for Natsume. I'm letting go, Sakura.

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"What's wrong, Ruka?"

Natsume and I were at the Sakura tree, sitting there like we always do. I shook my head and looked away.

He groaned and said; "I knew you were crying a while ago. I heard you sobbing. I was surprised that polka-dots didn't hear you though. What's the matter?"

"It's nothing." I said sternly.

He glared at me and said; "Damn it, Ruka. Since when have you been hiding secrets from me? Tell me what the damn hell is wrong."

"I'M GIVING UP ON SAKURA, OKAY?" I shouted at him, tears forming in my eyes once more.

He stared at me, wide-eyed. He shook his head slowly, but before he could speak, I said; "Natsume, you need her more than I do. I understand it very well, Natsume. I love Sakura so much, but you love her more than I do. With your body's condition, you were able to promise her that you would live and be strong. You didn't throw you life like you did before, and we all know that's because of Natsume."

My tears fell without restraint while continuing; "Please don't hesitate anymore because of me, Natsume. You should be happy with her."

His eyes were wet with tears that failed to fall when I said those words. He then said; "I'm alright. You don't need to sacrifice your love for little girl to make me happy. You know that I'm happy as long as my important people are happy, right?"

I shook my head and said; "You will never be fully happy without her. That's a fact. Every time you look at me when Sakura's in front of you, it makes me feel guiltier and worse. So, stop making that face and be happy. Don't hesitate anymore, Natsume. I'd be supporting you."

His tears finally fell and he hugged me tightly. I loved him and Sakura. They were my best friends after all. I don't want them to be miserable because of me. We hugged each other as best friends and cried our hearts out. Today was a painful day for me, but at least, I can finally see Natsume's true smile once more, and that was because of Sakura.

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A few weeks later, Natsume asked Mikan out and she said yes. He was so happy that he wouldn't let go of her hand, even when we were having classes. He still looked at me, but not with the anxious face that he used to have, but a happy one, full of gratefulness.

To Natsume, don't let go of that hand you're grasping tight right now. Take care of her and I hope you'd be very happy with her. I'm sure that the both of you are connected by a bond even before you were born.

And to Mikan Sakura, the girl I've first fallen in love with, please take care of my best friend. Cherish him the way he cherishes you.

Good bye, my first love. :(

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_He needs Her…No matter how much he hides it,_

_his body and soul is screaming. He doesn't notice it,_

_but deep within him, he is yearning for her._

_Her existence is like the sun within the darkness._

_He can't help but be strongly attracted to her._

_Please, don't hesitate anymore._

_Don't let go of that hand you're grasping tight right now_

_because I'm sure that both of you are connected by a bond_

_even before you were born..._

_- Ruka Nogi_

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END

Ruka is such a martyr. He's a true friend.

I hope you liked it. :(

I'm sorry for the sad ending or whatever.

Please R and R

**A/N: **I will be STRICT about not updating Meet Mr. Perfect 'til having _**20**_ in twitter. Seriously.

So, follow me now on www,twitter,com/miharuendou (change the commas to periods)

don't forget, okay?

That's all! :)


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